Baby Blues
by thegoodgirldoll
Summary: It's Ian and Erin's 5th Wedding Anniversary, but Erin has a surprise for Ian....is he ready to be a Daddy? From being abused when he was a kid, to Erin realizing they will have to care for another human, can they both step up to the plate? please R&R&R&R
1. Prologue

1Ian smiled at the thought of his and Erin's anniversary cominup in a few days. They had been married for 5 years now and it was their 5th year anniversary. He had planned everything and made sure it was to perfection. Erin on the other hand was dreading it. She was home in their 2 bed and bath appartment walking in a circular motion not knowing what to say or how to tell Ian. SHe was pregnant.. 5 weeks pregnant to be exact. Ian didn't get well with children and she wan't sure how he would feel about it but she had to tell him at sometime and she had a guilty conscious about ready to burst

Pip, you home?" he yelled as he shut the door and laid down his briefcase from a hard days work. "up here babe!" she yelled from the bathroom. he ran upstairs, handing her flowers and smiling. "How was your day?" he asked, leaning in for a kiss. "Ok,...but i have somehting ot tell you." he smiled, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "Go for it." "Well, i...ian im pregnant." his eyes opened wide and he stood, walking out of the room and to his car. he started it up and looked at erin one last time bfore pulling out of the driveway. erin was sobbing

Ian came home a few hours later, sighing as he walked back upstairs. erin was on her bed crying and he came to lay near her, rubbing her head. "pip im sorry I walked out, I was so scared but..this is great news. I was just worried, I don't know how to take care of a kid."

Erin turned away from her husband furiously and in an angry tone she replied "Neither do I.." Ian pulled her back to where she was facing him and said "An abortion, babe.. Get it now before it's too late. It'll be okay during the early stages." Erin looked at Ian furiously and pushed him off the bed screaming at him "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? This is my baby! This is OUR baby! I am not killing OUR baby. I thought you were better than that? What kind of sick person are you?" Erin stormed out of the house and ran into the backyard crying in the green grass. Ian shook his head in disbelief. He had never seen Erin this way and he felt kinda bad but he really couldn't have a kid in his life. They were both only 20 years old and knew nothing about parenting another human. He looked out the blinds and saw Erin lying in the grass. He sighed. And walked outside

"baby please just listen to me, I love you im so sorry."he said quietly, hugging her tight. "Ian I just don't know what to do, I'm so sorry I went off I just don't want to get rid of it, I want this baby and I need you to help me Ian, well figure it out together." Ian nodded. "I'm fine with that, I was just a little scared, but im up for this too...im so sorry I even said that I love you so much pip." they kissed quickly and Erin smiled. "I have to get a doctors appointment...come in the house and well call." he nodded. "Erin, I promise ill be the best father I can, im sorry I went off." "Its ok, I went off too, but you need to be a little more considerate, this is our child." "I understand, and I will love him or her and care for them at least half as much as I do you." "good, then it should be very loved."  
When the two were in the house Erin grabbed the phone and Ian pulled out a chair for her "After you, Madam." Erin giggled and sat down. She dialed the number and made an appointment for 3 weeks from now. Ian was stressed out. He thought about how much fun the two had in the past and then realized that they'd have to become responsible. After the phone call Erin was excited. "LETS GO BABY SHOPPING, IAN!!! It will be so much fun. What if we have a girl? Oh, I really hope it's a girl! Aww, what about twins?" Ian's eyes grew large when he thought about how much money they would be spending. Ian was a college drop out working as a construction worker and Erin went to school half-time and went to her job at the hardware store. The had no money and Erin was talking about twins.

whoa! hold your horses darling, we barely have money around here. we'll talk about twins when and if we have to." Erin smiled. "do you want a boy or girl?" Ian shrugged. "Happy and healthy." Erin nodded her agreement but squealed. "Ian you have to have a small feeling either way....boy or girl. a girl would be great but if it's a boy it'll be a little Ian, how cute!?" Ian looked at her laughing./ "babe, when we get a girl, that'll be amazing, if we have a boy ill buy the eye liner and black hair gel, lets just wait until they tell us." Erin nodded, later they went shopping. ________3 weeks later___________  
The alarm clock was screaming and Erin looked over to the side. Ian was gone at work. He couldn't afford to miss another day. Erin sighed and got up. She ran to the bathroom and threw up.. "Ugh, morning sickness" she though to herself. She looked into the mirror looking at her stomach. It had grown larger and she was disgusted by it and the fact that she couldn't fit into any of her clothing and had to wear some of Ian's clothing, even though it didn't work well since he was very petite himself. She got dressed and covered up in a large jacket and went into her car. She drove herself to the doctor and had her check up. "Ahh, Erin. Everything seems well. You're doing fine. My only concern is your stress level. have you been stressing out honey?" said the doctor curiously Erin nodded and replied "Yes, it's my husband who's causing it though.. I just don't know where our marriage is going and if he is even half as excited as I." The doctor smiled and patted her shoulder. You will be okay, dear." Erin smiled and after hearing her directions on how to have a healthier lifestyle for a healthy baby she left the office and headed home to tell Ian.

"Ian, my checkup wen well." Erin said as she walked in the house. he came out with an apron on and smiled huge. "That's amazing! hey, im making you dinner." she sighed. "oh, that's amazing thank-you, that's exactly what I need." Ian smiled. "I try baby, your ok then?" "yes, just my stress, he gave me some medication." Ian's smile sank. "pip, if im doing it please tell me. ill change, I don't wanna hurt you hon." "no no! Ian its ok, he gave me some meds and ill just relax more. I love you so much trust me, your all I need to feel comfortable." "ok, I feel the same way so we mix well." Erin laughed. "Ahh!" Erin looked down at her stomach...it hurt.! "Ian, Ian the baby's kicking." her face lit as did Ian's and he immediately put his hand to her stomach. Erin was crying and Ian

tears were apparent too. "oh my gosh, Erin that's amazing." "Ian I love you." "I love you too, were gonna do this......and were gonna make it."

The kicking made Erin think. She realized how real it was and it smiled turned into a frown "Oh my gosh, Ian.. I.. I can't do this. It's too real. It's really happening. We can't afford to raise a child. Ian, what have we done?" Ian hugged his wife. "Erin, Erin. We want this. This thing inside of you is a miracle. This little child it what will bring us closer." Erin wiped away her tears and smiled. "Thanks, Ian.. By the way... I borrowed your jeans and well...... They ripped. Heh heh." Ian laughed and so did Erin. "We'll go shopping after dinner, hun. Whatever you need so you are comfortable we will get. We will get through this together."

"Thank-you Ian, I really don't know what I would do without you." "I can say the same." after dinner Ian and Erin went to the local market. they sighed as they picked through close and such, finding stretchy black jeans and comfortable hoodies. "Ian found a red and black graphic tee for a baby and smiled. "Erin, I know we dress like this but,. im leaning towards being Christian and were not dressing our kid like the Adams family." Erin nodded. "I didn't want to anyway, so did you need anything else babe? im all set zip." "ok then, im good lets check out and get home its cold tonight and I wanna cuddle by the fire." "That's what I always want to do with you Ian." Erin said quietly. Ian out his arms around her after they checked out and they walked out of the store. "I love you so muchpip. hey! how about we get a movie really quick?:" he asked "sure." Erin shrugged and they hopped in the van, driving over to blockbuster.

The movie selection was amazing. Ian, of course, was looking at the horror films and the action films. Erin would've been doing the same if she wasn't pregnant. She was very curious and was trying to find out everything she could. "Ian, come here." Ian walked over chuckling. "Babe, why are you looking at discovery channel movies?" Erin looked at the movies Ian was holding and put them back on the shelf "Ian, I want to watch a film about children tonight." Ian sighed and went along with Erin's decisions. She was carrying the films all about child birth and Ian knew he was going to be sick after Erin makes him watch them all. They got home and quickly put the film in the DVD player. "I am so excited aren't you?" said Erin. Ian nodded sarcastically. He had a barf bag in

his hands.

"Ian please, your going to have to be there for me." he stared at her, "yes, but baby..theses are..other girls....ill be ok being there for you but I don't wanna watch other people giving birth." "its bloody." Erin said. "I don't care." an said quietly cuddling next to her and putting his hand protectively over her stomach. "ok then,. lets watch it." Erin clicked play and ain smiled as he held her tighter. 2 hours into the movie Ian was feeling quite assured about himself, he was comfortable. he understood everything they were talking about when Erin explained it and he was ready to be there for her and for their baby's birth. "Ian." she said after the movie was over. "yes?" he said yawning. he wasn't prepared for what she was about to ask, pregnant woman apparently changed their minds a lot and so, at 3 in the morning they went out to get a horror film

They watched the movie and Ian laughed at the fake blood and death scene like always. Erin was exhausted thought and fell fast asleep. "Hah, babe watch this. I already know what's going to happen he's going t.....Erin? Erinnnn?" Ian smiled at his sleeping wife and hugged her. When the movie was over Ian tried to be romantic and picked up Erin. His knees began to shake and he dropped Erin on the floor. "OWW! Oh my gosh! Ian? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Ow, God.." I was trying to put you to bed. "Am I that heavy? I... Oh my... OH MY... IAN THE BABY!!!!!! What if you hurt the baby? It's kicking like crazy!" Ian stuttered and rushed Erin to the emergency room just as a precaution.

After knowing Erin was ok she laughed on the way home. "babe, really its ok." she grabbed Ian's white and shaking hand. "Erin, we need to get help...I'm so scared to have this baby I don't know what to do I almost killed its mother!" Ian said furiously. "Erin im sorry after this we can never touch each other again." Ian looked completely serious but Erin sighed. "Ian you don't mean that,. everything will be ok, don't worry....you'll be a great dad and when the time comes for this baby to be born, well be great parents." Ian nodded. "Pip I love you so much, I cant believe how much I love you." Erin smiled, so tired. "I love you that much too, its unexplainable."Ian nodded. "yes it is." kissing her hand he sighed and they pulled into heir driveway, he succeeded in carrying her this time and they both laid down ready for a goodnights sleep. Erin feel fats asleep...or Ian thought she was. really she was wide awake, listening to Ian singing and talking to their baby.

It was now 16 weeks in and today was the day of the ultra sound. Erin woke up and Saw Ian wide awake next to her. "IAN! You're late!! What are you doing" Ian laughed. "I took the day off. I am not missing this. I wouldn't miss it for the world." Erin smiled and Ian drove her to the hospital. "Hello there, Mrs. Mckinley. Are you ready to find out the identity of your baby?" Erin and Ian both nodded and the process began. Her stomach was exposed and the cold goo was applied. "I really hope it's a girl. I've already thought about some names. Iris or Avery or Tilia" Ian interrupted Erin "Tilia? No way! Tilia Mckinley? Yeah right" The doctor chuckled "Hush you two. Erin.... It's a boy." Erin sighed while Ian jumped for joy. He quickly turned around to his wife "Aww, baby I am sorry." Erin smiled

"No, it's fine really." Erin smiled thinking of a boy name "Hah, how about Gordo? We can call him Gordy! Hahah" Ian had a straight face, not catching Erin's humor but in the end they both were laughing anyway.

Erin looked at him seriously. "I wanna name him Ian." Ian looked at her, pushing the hair out of her face as the doctor left, letting them know they could leave. "pip, we don't have to do that. Give him his own name." Erin shook her head. "no, I like Ian." Ian nodded. "alright baby, Ian it is, I love you so much." "I love you too."

a\n: sorry for any mistakes. A friend and I wrote this over IM and are writing it, so we have to copy and paste and revise as best we can on Word Perfect. So, anyway, hope you enjoyed. Anything that pertains to format being off, I'm sorry it's only because of the whole process of not writing it out on Word first. Anywho, hope you enjoyed over-all, and please review!!!!! we are writing out the next chapter, so hope you will continue to read!


	2. Memories

1On the drive home very little was said. Erin was exhuasted and Ian was thinking about life.

"Erin, what if my son dosn't like me? What if he hates me? What if he feels the way I do about my father?" Erin laughed

"He wont. Trust me! You're a good guy and you'll be a terrific father." Ian stared at the road and sighed

"You hope that..." Erin rolled her eyes and turned up the music.

"What kind of music is this?" said Ian whom was a fan of their death metal music.

"It's classical music. I heard it makes you smarter and I don't want a stupid baby," said Erin confidently. Ian shook his head and listened to his wife.

"Whatever you say, honey... But if you want a rocker baby like me then you better change it." Erin laughed and turned off the radio.

"That music was terrible anyway.."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once they got home they both got a quick shower and went to bed. It was late by then, and they had had to eat dinner also.

"Erin, I love you, night."

"Night Ian I love you too. Oh! say night to baby Ian." She said smiling. Ian kissed her stomach and pulled the covers over him.

"Night squirt." He mumbled. Erin smield and laid down too.

***5 hours later***

It was 2 am now, Erin was wide awake, but Ian was snorning. Erin was just about to lay down and try to sleep as Ian awoke screaming. Panting, and looking around him to make sure he was safe, he sighed. Erin immediately knew what to do..she had been with Ian for years now.

"Ian, its just a panic attack, ok? your ok...what happened?"

"It was a dream...about my dad..it so real Erin, it hurts."

"Ian, no one hit you. it wasn't real, it just hurts because you think that."

"No, Erin..its hurts." he rolled up his sleeve...he had markings.

Erin sighed and patted Ian's hair.

"Go to sleep, babe." Ian did what she commanded him to do and went back to bed. Erin awoke to the sound of glass breaking. Thinking it was a robber she quickly yelled for Ian but he wasn't there. Afraid that her husband was in danger she walked into the kitchen to see alcohol all over the floor and her husband passed out. There was glass everywhere and Erin screamed. Ian was completely drunk and Erin broke down crying and then soon after she awoke crying and Ian was stroking her belly

"Babe." he said, furrowing his eyebrows as if joking with her for ruining his alone time with their son. Erin was crying and she tried to smiled at him. "Ian...I'm so sorry. I had a bad dream." He chuckled.

"Lot of that going around tonight isn't there?" She smile sadly, rubbing his black hair that still had gel stuck in it from the day previous. "I guess so...I love you, Ian."

"I love you too...Erin?" he asked before she laid back down. "Yeah, Zip?"

"Do you really think I'll be a good father?"

"Ian, your already a good father...but do I think you'll be a good Daddy? yes, yes I do.." Just as they were about to lay down the phone rang. It was about 6:45 and Ian should be up for work anyways. He ran downstairs to get the phone and on the other line a man somewhat older than Ian answered.

"Ian...its me." Ian's face was twisted with disgust and sadness as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Dad!?"

"Yep, son. It's me." Ian was frightened.

"Are you um... Out of jail?" said Ian curiously. "Mhm, you betcha! I heard you have son on the way, kiddo. Your mom told me all about it and I just can't wait to..."Ian hung the phone up and tears drizzled down his eyes as he hugged Erin.

"That was my dad.. He knows about the baby." Erin was shocked and Ian hugged her stomach.

"Nobody, not even my dad is going to hurt you or mommy." Erin smiled stroking Ian's hair.

"Baby, can I please say home? I am worried about you guys." Erin shook her head

"Nope. We'll be fine. Promise. Plus, we can't afford you to have to miss another day. Just go"Ian sighed and kissed his wife and left the house.

Work was so hard for Ian that day. He was very preoccupied and he called Erin at least once every hour. When finally he got home, all doors were locked immediately and he stayed close to Erin.

"Ian, its ok. He doesn't even know where we live."

"My mom does apparently and she told Dad I'm gonna be a Dad and...why would she do that!?"

"I don't know, Ian. I really don't but don't let your father ruin this, please? We have a great life and will continue to have one."

"Ok...I'm sorry he just....I've always been scared of him knowing he's in jail now he's out..."

"Ian I understand...you really don't have any respect for him and he scares you, I feel the same way but....nothing will hurt any of us, Zip. We'll make it through like we always do."

"Erin, I love you so much I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Ian, I don't want anything happening to you either, but I'm not going to dwell on it. Forget and move on...Ian....we have a baby on the way."

a\n: I know its shorter than last chapter, by about 1,000 words! Lol, but me and my friend are doing the best we can. See, we have schoolwork, and we need to be online at the right time we have to set aside time and my friend has carpal tunnel so we had to pull together today for this chapter. Anyways, hope you enjoyed none the less and please review!!!!!!!


	3. Get Out

a\n: ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That night Ian asked Erin something he'd had on his mind for awhile now.

"Erin, are you scared of me?" Erin looked at him, as though she didn't know if he was joking or not. When his eyes bore into hers though, she understood.

"Ian no, why would you ask that?"

"Because of my Dad, because...i was raised in an environment where it was all yelling and violence....do I ever scare you?" Erin kind of chuckled as she crawled in bed next to Ian.

"Ian, you have a ruff personality. If your upset, it shows. You wanna break things your drinking your talking to me though....you would never hurt a fly unless they had hurt me or the baby. Ian, your a great husband and, your my best friend.....i love you so much, I don't have time to wonder if I'm afraid or not." Ian smile shyly and kissed Erin quickly as they both laid down their heads on their pillows.

"Ian, are you really excited for this baby?" Erin asked quietly, stroking her stomach.

"Erin, I can't wait." she smiled and Ian put his arms around her as they both fell asleep.

The alarm clock blared loudly as Ian threw it against the wall. Walking into the bathroom, he turned on the hot water in the sink and put some in his cupped hands. Splashing it on his face, he sighed....today was Erin's doctor appointment....she was now, six months.

"Zip, why don't we have toothpaste?" she asked as she walked up behind him and put her arms around him.

"Because, lover-girl, Mommy nor Ian, told Ian Sr. here, that there was a need for toothpaste."

"Brilliant." she mumbled as she walked over to the second sink. Ian took out his Axe and Erin grabbed her pink and black Victoria Secret perfume. Soon, the room was a mix of an elegant and lacy sweet smell, and a ruff, just-got-out-of-the-shower kind of thing. Erin and Ian smiled at each other and they both walked to the dresser to get their cloths on. When everything was finished upstairs, they made their way down to the breakfast table. Ian ate quickly, he had work and couldn't go to Erin's appointment with her. Before they knew it, Ian was out the door and Erin went on for her check-up. It lasted about a hour and a half, when finally, Erin called Ian.

"Ian...i need you to come up to the hospital. They sent me over here....they think some thing's wrong with the baby." Ian couldn't miss anymore work.....but without hesitation he replied, "be right there."

Ian ran through the double doors and asked for his wife. He was allowed back to her room and she smiled as he walked in. She looked so tired laying in that hospital bed. Her red hair was thrown in her face and her plump stomach had monitors covering it.

"Erin, I came as quick as I could, what did they say?" he asked, kneeling beside her.

"They said he wasn't moving too much, but since they've been monitoring he's been everywhere. They're gonna let me go soon, but they're just making sure." Ian nodded.

"Do you need anything?"

"How about a coffee?" a tall, balding man asked from behind Ian. Ian froze.....not now, not him.

"How about you leave?"

"Lets not start anything, kid."

"I'm asking you, as calmly as possible, I do not want you near my wife or child, please get out now." Ian stated, though his blood was boiling and his fears were surrounding him.

"Ian, I haven't done anything to you."

"That's a lie! I still have marks from your, 'tough love.' I still cringe when I hear loud noises, and see blood. I still can't sleep because I feel like I'm being watched. Get out of my life, and away from my family...please?"

"Ian, I honestly don't know if I can do that."

"I don't know how to ask you......John."

"I'm your father! Lets not use a first name basis."

"I don't feel as though your being a father right now, I need you to leave." and with that, John Mckinley walked down the hall and Ian peaked out to see that he had gone. Though, when he was grabbed by his shirt-front, he realized he hadn't left.

"You listen to me, I will be back, Ian. And your going to pay worse than you ever have. Your still stubborn, your still an idiot, and your still, not worth it. Watch that wife of yours and that kid.....your really gonna be screwed Ian...you never talk to me that way and don't dare again blame me for the things that went sour in your life. You brought it all on yourself!" he let him go and walked away, leaving Ian rubbing his throat and his mind racing....watch that wife of yours, watch the kid....he was so sacred.......and so angered........he just wanted to wake up...but this wasn't like his dream the other night...this was the real deal....and the real deal, when it involved his father, meant someone was going to get hurt.

A month later, Ian was sitting in living room while Erin made dinner, it had been a very stressful day. Ian had been driving for hours to deliver some documents and he had to evaluate many houses. Still though, his pay remained the same. Erin wasn't feeling well all day, so he felt bad he had to come home and make things hard for her, but he needed time too.

"Zip, what else do you want? I have chicken and lemon sauce and spinach, is there anything else?"

"No, Pip. That's great, thank-you."

"No problem, just come in and eat I'm starved too." Ian smiled and followed his wife to the kitchen.

"Yeah know, I've been having pains all day, I think I have Braxton-Hicks."

"Well, maybe you should call the doctor then? I don't really like that you have to deal with that it must be scar...." just then the doorbell rang, Erin stood to open it. Ian stood too but Erin waved him off as she went to open the front door. When she opened it, there stood John.

"What do you need?" she asked, Ian came into the hallway with his plate and immediately dropped it running toward his father and grabbing the front of his shirt. Throwing him against the concrete of the house, he screamed, "What are you doing here again!? Get out! Out of my life and my family! Just stay away!" John grabbed Ian also and turned around, pinning him against the wall. Erin screamed and hit John also. Ian's father then turned to her. Ian's eyes turned icy and his skin paled. He couldn't hurt Ian..for everything in the life of him he couldn't have been more scared and hateful in that second.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" John had already slapped her once, her face was beat red and her stomach took a few nice hits in those moments also. Ian couldn't explain the feeling he had, and he threw his father against the ground. Grabbing Erin he took her inside and locked the door. He took out his phone to call the police and then sat Erin on the couch.

"Erin, does it hurt? You ok? The baby's still kicking right? How about your face?" she looked deep in his eyes.

"Ian I'm ok. Yeah he's kicking." Ian nodded and hugged her tight.

"I'm so sorry Ian, oh gosh, I can't believe he came back! Erin, I love you so much, I don't know what to do." Ian's tears were running down his face as he sobbed his hear out to his wife. When the police finally came, everything was sorted out. Ian, though, had also hit John, so both had a court hearing. They took John away and Ian followed Erin upstairs to bed.

While he looked up at the ceiling he sighed.

"Erin, my mom always told me...when I lucked out from one of my Dad's hits....when it didn't hurt so much, God was watching over me. I'm glad he was here tonight. Erin he could've really hurt you."

"Ian, I understand but I love you......and I'm not giving up, I'll always be here." Ian nodded.

"I need to hear that. I love you too, Pip..i love you so much." Erin nodded just as her phone rang and she answered it quickly.

"Who is it?" Ian whispered.

"My Dad." Erin replied. She talked for a little while and then sighed, her father was a cop, and was going through the check list of things that could've happened...he'd found out about Ian's dad. When finally, goodbye was said Ian smiled....finally some sleep! When you could forget everything!......but no..

"Ian I'm sorry, my Dad's coming over. He's really freaked out."

"That's fine, I'm so sorry Erin."

"You did nor do this it was not your fault....just relax, get some sleep I'll handle Dad."

"No, I wanna talk to him. I need to be responsible to my wife and child." Erin nodded, she loved Ian so much, and she couldn't stand to see him in such pain.

a\n: I know, shirt, but hope you enjoyed! I really had a nice time writing this chapter and I'm glad I'm keeping up with this story! I love Ian and Erin! ( Ian is my dream-guy) heehee, please review!! and stay tuned for chapter 4


	4. Baby

"Mr. Ulmer." Ian said quietly as Erin's father walked in. the man nodded back to Ian and shook his hand before hugging his daughter tightly.

"Erin, are you ok?" he asked. Erin nodded and smiled up at her father as he looked at her stomach.

"That is something little miss. I still can't believe it."

"Well, believe it." she replied laughing. Ian sat down with Erin and her father and Erin grabbed his hand.

"Well," Mr. Ulmer started. "I just wanted to make sure everything was alright. Tonights events were uncalled for....Ian..he shouldn't have even been out of jail." Ian's face paled.

"what?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes." Mr. Ulmer said sadly, staring hard at the boy.

"Mr. Ulmer, I'm so sorry, I don't know whats happening..."

"Boy, just stay away from him, their putting him back in...but they can only hold him for so long, his time is almost up plus a few months...hmhp...he'll be out in November."

"But Dad that's when the baby's born." Erin immediately replied. Ian nodded, agreeing and Mr. Ulmer sighed.

"Honey I know....but I'm only doing the bets I can."

The nightmares, for Ian, continued on. Every night, waking up from a fitful sleep and crying. Ian's fears seemed to wake the baby also...and minutes later Erin would be up catering to her husband until he fell back asleep. Tonight, was one of the blessed nights everyone slept...and they only woke up at 6:30, to get ready for work or start the day. Erin only had three months left and Ian was getting very jumpy.

"Zip, just relax. Have a good day at work and call me if you need to." Ian nodded.

"Erin, I just worry about you. How's the baby today? You feel alright?"

"Yes, yes yes yes yes yes yes! Jees, man....I'm fine Ian..please just relax, I'll be here when you get back and I'll call you if I need you."

"If you need ANYTHING."

"Yes, if I need anything." Ian kissed her and left.

"Mckinley." the attendant called. The store was having evaluations today. Ian worked for a housing company, they built em' and sold em', and today they were laying three people off.....ten had already gone and no one had been laid off yet...Ian was worried. The tall black man sat across from Ian and sighed.

"Ian...your a great worker....an amazing seller, and you build so quick. I love your attitude because you push people when they can't go anymore and if I need a house built from scratch by tomorrow, you;ll have it done by midnight.....but I'm sorry....because of the recent events our store cannot be linked to any felonies even if it is family members....I'm gonna have to lay you off. You'll get pay for three months after....because your such a good worker....but your done on Friday." Ian nodded, but when he left work for that day he came home with red, puffy eyes.

"what happen babe?" Erin asked quickly. Ian looked at her and sighed.

"I lost my job."

"Oh Ian....what do you wanna do?"

'Well I get pay for three months after but....i need to find something that won't last." Erin nodded.

"Where do you think you want to work?"

"I don't know."

"Well think about it."

"I'm not sure."

"there's gotta be something you like."

"I DON'T KNOW!" Ian yelled, and Erin looked taken aback.

"Ian, I was just asking a question." she replied slowly.

"BUT I DON'T KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT!"

"Ok then. You don't have to yell about it."

"I'm just angry."

"Well yelling is never the answer."

"I FEEL LIKE YELLING!"

"Ian, really, I understand your upset but there is no reason to be screaming."

"ERIN, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY, I DON'T HAVE A JOB NOW!"

"I KNOW THAT! AND DON'T TELL ME I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I understand YOU PERFECTLY I LOVE YOU I'VE BEEN WITH YOU FOR FIVE YEARS!"

"I know......Erin I'm just really not in the mood right now."

"Ok then, will you at least help me make dinner? The baby's been kicking horrible all day and it hurts." Ian nodded.

"No problem." he said quietly.

"Are you ok? Is it anything important?"

"Well, I can't be having it its three months early and..." Ian looked over his shoulder ta her an furrowed his eyebrows.

"And?" Erin stared at him.

"Ian."

"Yes?"

"I think its time."

"Time for what?" Erin would've laughed had she not been in so much pain, he was so clueless.

"Time for the baby! I think my water just broke."

"Erin that's not funny." he replied, not fazed in the slightest.

"I'm not trying to be Ian....the baby is coming."

"Its too early though."

"That's too bad."

"But he can't come now he could get hurt. He's to small."

"He doesn't care."

"I do."

"Ian!"

"ok."

"I love you." Erin smiled as Ian kissed her forehead. She was so tired and so stressed, she just wanted her baby. She was right, it was time, but the baby just wasn't coming....the contractions weren't tense enough yet and she wasn't dilated enough. Ian sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.

"Yeah know, I'm really excited for this baby, Pip."

"me too, Ian we're gonna have a family....we're gonna have a baby." he nodded and carried her out to the car.


	5. Baby2

At the hospital, Erin was admitted immediately. Ian stayed with her the whole time, when finally a doctor came in, saying it was time. Erin held Ian's hand tight and he smiled at her.

"Ian, I love you so much."

"I love you too." the doctor smiled and told Erin quickly, "alright, next one its time...."

"OK." she replied. Ian held her shoulders firmly and rested his head on hers and she sighed against him before the contraction hit and she began pushing. Deep down, Ian was ready to run to the bathroom...he hated seeing Erin in pain, he hated the idea of what was happening and he hated the idea of blood.....but he knew he had to be there for her and that soon, they would have a son.

"Ian..i can't do it." she panted, gripping his red hand tighter as they again pushed.

"Erin, just don't think, just push ok? We're gonna have a son soon."

"Ian, I can't please..it hurts." she replied, still trying to focus on pushing.

"I know, but we're gonna do it....your doing great,...i love you."

"I HATE YOU!" she yelled back. Ian looked about to cry but he held her tight and the nurse smiled at him.

"she doesn't mean it." she mouthed and Ian nodded.

"C'mon Erin."

"One more." the doctor added quickly, so as to encourage her more. She nodded delving her finger nails in Ian's palm and once again pushing. Moments later, they heard a cry. Erin threw her head back in relief and the doctor cleaned off the baby quickly, handing him to Erin. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and Ian did too.

"Look he's so beautiful Ian......look at what we did."

"Yeah...he's perfect." Ian replied, sitting on the side of the bed. Erin gave the baby her finger and he involuntarily squeezed it tight. She smiled and looked up at Ian.

"So...still name his after you?"

"If you want, Pip...i like it."

"Me too."

"I already love him." Ian said quietly, rubbing the side of Erin's leg.

"Me too....its so amazing Ian...this its what's been inside me for these past six months. He's what we've been waiting for."

"It is amazing...Erin...I'm glad we have this baby.......I'm so sorry for what my first reaction was."

"Ian, that's long gone...don't worry about any of that....all we have to worry about now is our son."

"Erin...it amazes me how I can still love you as much as I did when I first asked you out."

"I tell myself the same thing all the time, Zip...but can you tell me something?" Ian looked at her.

"Anything, what is it?"

"Zip, why were you so scared for the baby in the first place? Why were you worried about having him?" Ian took in a deep breath, he wasn't sure if this would sound selfish...and horrible against his son...because he did love Ian already...

"Because...i was scared, I would never be able to love him as much as i love you."

"Ian stop it."

"I'm being totally serious......your still the one that's first...but I can tell you...i feel very different than when I first thought about the baby.....i do love him just as much."

"Ian...."

"Yeah?"

"That's why I was scared too."


	6. 9 months Later

That night at the hospital was pretty intense. Ian didn't sleep the whole night, Erin didn't either. Well, little Ian didn't sleep all night...the one and only original Erin's husband Ian, slept the whole thing through...in the morning though, when Erin was sleeping peacefully and the baby was screaming, he made up for it. Grabbing the child, and laying him gently in his arms, he rocked Ian back and forth.

"Shh...its ok, Ian...shhh....its ok, Daddy has you now...Daddy's gotcha..yeah, yeah its ok." Ian relaxed a bit after hearing his father's voice and Erin smiled up at him.

"Morning, Pip." Ian said quietly as he rocked Ian into his little cradle.

"Morning, Ian...Ian." She replied chuckling. She stood up carefully and walked over to her husband.

"You did great with our little one, being your first time to take care of him." Ian wrapped his arms around Erin's waist and sighed contentedly.

"Mhmp...sure did..and you thought I couldn't do well."

"Haha, I did not think that." She laughed.

"I'm kidding, I love you Erin you know that?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"Erin....i can't thank you enough."

"for what?"

"For giving me my family...for loving me..even though its dangerous....and for always being there for me." she smiled up at him.

"Well...Mr. Mckinley,....its been my pleasure." Ian kissed her.

When they finally got home, things settled down a little more. Ian was on a schedule and Ian Sr. had a new job. Erin was working part time and had her mother babysit when she wasn't home. One night, when Ian had come home late form his doing a big tattoo, he smiled at Erin and Ian. They were both on the floor laughing. (Little Ian was now 9 months).

"How was my family today?" he asked as he held his arms open wide.

"We were good, Zip...but your son has something to tell you." Ian crouched down to his sons height and smiled, "what is it kiddo?"

"Daddy! I wanna be a tattoo person just like you." he said excitedly as he hugged Ian tight. Ian threw his heavily tattooed arms around his son and smiled.

"Aww...Ian that's awesome....but its not just a job kid...you know that?"

"Its artistic ability." They both said together.

"Exactly." Erin said quietly and Ian came over to kiss her.

"I love you very very very much, Erin."

"And I love you even more, Mr. Mckinley." Little Ian smiled and jumped in the middle of them.

"Whoops, we could never forget you." Ian said quietly, kissing his sons head.

"Nope." Ian replied to his father.

"So...Ian...i was thinking...how would you and your son..like to go to Disney Land this weekend?"

"Really!" Ian and Little Ian yelled.

"Yes." Erin replied laughing....Ian was so childish.

"We'd love too." they added together. Erin smiled.

"Cool..we'll have a little family vacation then."

"Wait....yo can't forget Glub..he has to be a part of this." Ian added and Erin smiled at her husband.

"No we can't, Zip." Glub was Ian's fish he had gotten when he got his new job....and most likely the only fish that had been tattooed(it was permanent ink but still)Ian thought he owned everything. Erin smiled at the sight of her family, and left her son and husband in the living room while she went to make dinner.

a\n: Disney Land weekend!!!!!!!!!lol, please review, I know this was little short, but next one will be bigger.


	7. Step

"Yah Mckinley!" Ian chanted as his father laughed.

"No, Ian....We're Mckinley...you mean Mickey.."

"Yeah!"

"Ian, your so sweet." Erin said quietly and both son and father replied, "thank you."

""Ugh." they walked along Main Street for awhile as Ian hugged as many toy story stars as possible and finally they came to the Haunted Mansion ride. This was Ian. Sr's idea.

"Alright, c'mon you guys. I haven't been on one of these rides in awhile...lets make some ghoulish heads turn son." he said excitedly, rubbing his hands together as they got in the coffin like, box. Erin held Ian's and immediately, she remembered the roller coaster accident. She gasped and pulled her hand away breathing deep.

"You OK?" Ian asked concerned.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine..juts....i was just remembering that night...graduation night."

"Pip, its OK...your with me....Ian's excited for the ride OK? Just relax, your safe now." she nodded.

"Yeah, yeah I know." Ian smiled and turned to his son.

"You ready kiddo?"

"Yeah, Dad." Ian laughed ans put his hand on his sons lap smiling.

"This is your first amusement park ride....your Mom and I loved these when we were kids."

"Yeah, we did." Erin added quietly, grasping Ian's hand tighter. He turned to her and whispered in her ear.

"Pip, my Dad used to take me on these all the time....you were the one that had to make me get on rides before, because I was always scared he was there...but now..i love them..just tell yourself its not that, Babe...and it won't be."

"OK, Ian...alright..i love you."

"I love you too." he smiled as the ride started.

"Yeah!" Ian yelled as he craned his short neck to look around at the floating musical instruments and heads. When a ghost was in their cart, it was sitting right near Ian and he screamed, grabbing his Dad tight.

"Ian..shh..it was just a visual affect, its nothing." Ian nodded.

When the ride was over the walked around the shops for awhile. Ian bought a lot of stuffed animals and candy, whereas his father bought a lot of shirts and Erin managed their money for them.

"Alright guys, that's enough in this shop." Ian and Ian walked out with their bags and looked around for the next thing they wanted to do. Though, when they turned around, the person they saw was someone that had hoped not to see for a very long time.

"Dad.." Ian said, trying to keep his voice calm so as not to worry his son.

"Ian...Erin....this must be your little boy?" he asked, bending down to Ian.

"Hi." Ian said quietly,as he grabbed his father's leg.

"Well, your getting very big."

"Yes sir...I'm 60 pounds now." Ian chuckled as did John and he stood up straight.

"Ian...i don't wanna cause a scene like before...i just want to be in you, and my grandchild's life. You got a nice wife here, nice kid..and I'd like to be a part of the family."

"Never." Ian said quietly, so Ian didn't hear the conversation.

"Well, then...your gonna have a lot to get back...your going to start losing a lot son...and when you come to get it back, you best pray its still there."

"What would you steal from me? I have lousy rep because of you, we're not overly fancy."

"what would I steal from you?" he laughed and pointed to Ian.

"Is your little boy a good enough answer for ya?" Ian threw his fist again his father's jaw, getting him to the ground so he was on top of him, as he held his arm up for another punch, he looked deep in his father's eyes.

"I don't know what you came here for...why you came back...but I think I've turned out to be a pretty good man...a good husband, and a good father.....and never will you touch my family....you deserve to be in my life I can't have you in my life. You hurt me bad Dad....not just with your words, my son isn't going to grow up in an abusive home, and he's not going to get thrown against the wall for doing wrong things." john looked at him, for the first time genuinely.

"Ian..i didn't do that.." Ian laughed.

"Yeah, yeah right."

"No! Ian...I'm your step father."


	8. Catching Up

"That's not possible." Ian whispered quietly. The man nodded, and Ian's eyes became softer. This was the man who had finally put his father in jail...the one that looked freakishly like him..and the one that had been there for Ian when hos father most certainly wasn't. He pulled up the man and hugged him.

"Nick. I'm so sorry..i didn't know." nick smiled and let go of his step-son, grabbing him by the shoulders and looking at him.

"You've grown up a lot, Ian...you have a son and wife now...i remember your wife though." Erin smiled and hugged Nick too.

"Ian's a very lucky guy." He said quietly and she smiled.

"Thank you."

"Hey, Nick...where have you been though? I haven't seen you in years."

"The night after that little roller coaster accident..you father thought I had something to do with it......so, after I knew you two were fine..i had to leave town, or else or wouldn't be here. Your father thought it was OK if he hurt yeah, but for some reason he was a little protective that night."

"Oh, I never knew why..i thought something had happened to you.

'"Well, it didn't...but what are you guys doing here anyway? I have an excuse I wok here now."

"Nuh huh!" Ian laughed.

"Yup...couldn't get a job anywhere else."

"Brilliant."

"Don't be a smart guy."

"OK, I wont." Ian replied chuckling.

"Well, where do you wanna go next little Ian?" Ian asked his son, and Ian shrugged.

"I don't know Daddy...there's so much we can still do, where do you wanna go?"

"I think we should do the rest tomorrow, lets go have some dinner at that Pirates of the Caribbean restaurant.....we have some catching up to do."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a\n: shortest chapter ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so sorry!!!! please bare with me! Review and I will write a longer chapter next time! I just didn't know what else to say so, here's chapter 8 =)


	9. son

"So...Where are you staying?" Ian asked as he walked with his father. Erin and Little Ian had gone to their hotel. Nick sighed.

"Apartment."

"Oh...well, give me your number so you can come over...and just hang out...Ian would love to have you around he took a liking to you in there."

"Yeah..i really like him too." he smiled as did Ian as he gave him his number and hugged him.

"I'll see you, son."

"you too and Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"the word son never meant anything to me until you came into my life....i just wanted you to know that."

"Well..thank you...i had a pretty good time being your Dad....i still do." Ian chuckled and walked back to the hotel where his wife and son would be. His wife and son that were safe, and loving and warm and cared for...and had never experienced a pain that their father and husband had..and Ian was proud of that.

"Erin...I'm home."

"Very funny...Ian's been in mickey heaven all night I can't get him off the impersonator."

"Oh man...that..that's not good." Ian said seirously looking down at Erin. She smiled, he was being a funny serious....the one he always played good at.

"No its not....but it does give us alone time."

"Oh jee...I feel so horrible Ian isn't here though...i would never want to use my son for my own selfish wants."

"Well....i didn't say that...we're just using him as a decoy this once." Ian smiled and picked Erin up, walking her to the hotel bad and sitting down near her.

"Well...when you put it that way...then I understand." she laughed.

a\n: hope you enjoyed even though this was shorter than the last!!!!!!! gimme any ideas all of my chapters were short today and I'm so mad 'm running dry on writing. Lol I'm having a block, but I will get back in the swing of long chapter soon.


	10. Didn't Quite

1

It had been a month since the Mckinleys' little Disney adventure. Little Ian still couldn't get over the fact he had met mickey mouse and Ian was playing along with him for awhile...Erin, however, wasn't too happy. She'd been feeling horrible the last two weeks, and knew it had to be something to do with the flu.

"Ian, I'm going to the doctors I got an appointment earlier, I'll be home later." Ian nodded instead of saying OK, seeing as his mouth was full of fruit loops and Erin rolled her eyes.

The drive to the hospital ok awhile, but the wait was only a few minutes. Erin was called back after an older woman and she smiled as the doctor led her to a seat. She had done some blood work before and had had a physical exam about a week ago, so he had already ruled out the flu. He decided to do an ultrasound, wondering if the had something wrong with her. She always complained of being nauseous and having pain. The doctor looked at her hesitantly and Erin stared back at him.

"Wh...what is it?"

"Erin......you had a miscarriage. I'm pretty sure anyway....you were pregnant...there's no heartbeat now..." Erin stared at him.

"How is that possible?"

"I don't know how you didn't know...I'm sorry." Erin sat up slowly and he turned off the machine. She didn't quite remember driving home or getting home. She didn't quite remember the look on Ian's face when she told him either. All she really remembered was laying in bed...and not moving until he next day.

Ian on the other hand, didn't quite remember Erin telling him...and he didn't quite remember the outright sobbing he had done that night, but he did remember tucking Ian in and then crawling next to his wife, cradling her abdomen with his arms.


	11. Fruit Loops

1

"Ian wake up." Erin sniffled and Ian turned to her. She was sitting up in bed, it was about 7 in the morning.

"What do you need, Pip?"

"Ian needs to eat, I can get up...will you feed him?" she asked trying her best to stop her tears from flowing.

"Of course, Babe."

"Thank you, Zip." she yawned and then laid her head back down.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"What do you want to eat, kiddo?"

"I want fruity loops like you, daddy!"

"OK."

"Daddy? Why was mommy crying bad?"

"Because Mommy was upset about something, but mommy's OK now."

"Oh, Ok...."little Ian replied as he sat at the breakfast table. Ian stared at his son as he ate, and all he could do in that moment, was thank God for him.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erin covered her eyes in heavy mascara and liner and her face with blush. She hadn't covered her face like that in awhile...she nor Ian had been, 'gothic,' per say, since the baby had been born...but she was so down...who could blame her?

"Good morning Mommy!" Ian yelled and she gave a wan smile. She looked at Ian, her eyes heavy. He stood and embraced her, as Ian went to pick at his fruit loops again. He held her tight, her stomach pressed against him.....this wasn't fair to her...he hated to see her so upset....and he knew there was one thing he could do....


	12. Try

Haha, wanna her something funny? I was excited to update my stories but, guess what!? I got fake nails put on and come to see, I can barely type. Sorry for any typos or mess ups in general, I will have to take these things off soon.

"Erin, come upstairs with me." Ian begged and Erin sighed.

"OK." Ian smiled.

"Pip, Ian's at my mom's house so I was wondering....only if you want to...we could try..." Erin's face immediately lit up and she turned to him.

"Ian are you sure?"

"Yeah...i don't want you upset and i wouldn't have minded getting a new baby around here." Erin laughed ands followed Ian upstairs. She began kissing him as he kicked the door shut.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"C'mon what does it say!?" Ian yelled through the bathroom door and erin screamed as she opened the door," Ian! Its positive! Its positive, Ian we're gonna have another baby!" she kissed him full on the mouth and he smiled, holding her at arms length.

"Erin, I love you so much you know that?"

"Yes I do....Ian I'm so excited...Ian.....are yo excited to be a Daddy again?"

"Yeah."

"I can already guess what you want..." Erin replied and Ian smiled.

"You want a little girl don't you?" she smiled as h blushed, she had hit his speak spot.

"Maybe..."

"You now you do!"

"I want a little princess."

'Well, maybe you'll gte your little princess."

a\n: I'm so sorry to say...this is where I am ending it.....but the good news is, I'm doing a sequel! Like the idea? Please review, any comments or suggestions, feel free to leave em' and hope you enjoyed, I can' wait to start the new one, the title is going to be, Mckinley Mirrors.  Can you guess why its called that?????? think of what mirrors do....i will leave you with that, look for the new one coming sometime tomorrow if I get reviews.


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